My Journey.......

I have never really written down a time line of my journey to have a baby and I have been thinking about it a lot and I wanted to document it so that I would know dates and things so here we go:

November 15, 2008- Kevin and I got married

March 2009 - Got off of BC, we were trying, but not really trying

June 2009- Started actively trying
October 2009-Declared infertile by Dr. W/never once did a check on me or saw me unclothed ha
January 2010- HSG done/results blocked right tube was a possibly blocked
January-November Tried on our own
November 2010-Clomid 50mg
December 2010-Clomid 50mg
January 2011-Clomid 100mg
February 2011- Clomid 100mg
March 2011-Switched to a new Dr.  best decision I have made yet
April 2011-Had a Hysteroscopy and Endometrial ablation
July 2011-Clomid 50mg
August 2011- Clomid 100mg


Those are all of the major events that have taken place from November 2008-August 2011!  I never in a million years would have believed if you had told me I still wouldn't have a baby after trying for so long, however I haven't given up and I still feel that God is just waiting for the perfect time.....Thanks for you prayers also!

Wow! It has been awhile......

 I know, I know it has been awhile since I have blogged and my Uncle Johnny has been on my case so I decided it was time to update.  It is SUMMER and I love it!  One of the perks of my job is summer's off!  We took our first family trip since Kevin entered the family.  We went to Washington DC with my parents and we had so much fun.  My next blog is going to be about all the prizes we won playing car games.  DC is a walking city so my feet were killing me but it was worth it!  We made lots of memories!

In other news....can you believe the verdict in the Casey Anthony trial?  My stomach hurts just writing her name....I have never been so involved in a trial before and I am just sick at how things turned out.  I was literally depressed after the news.  I know that God knows all things and He will be the final judge, but dog gone...i.need.justice.now!

I bought some school supplies and made my new name tags for my coat hooks at school.  I love doing little projects!  Well that is all for now..I am going to try to do better.  PS this is my BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!! Yay!

A Step in the Right Direction.....

Well I feel like I have a lot to update everyone on!  I have switched doctors which has been a blessing.  As you have seen on my previous post I just never felt right about my last doctor and for me I just felt like I needed a fresh set of eyes on the situation.  So I chose to go to other doctor that was in the same practice.....Dr. H!  His daughter may or may not be in class, but we don't need to discuss that awkwardness HA!  I week 2 weeks ago to have my yearly and to set a plan of action.  My mom went with me and we were cracking up the whole time we were in the office I kept taking pictures to keep myself distracted and mom said that we were just starting the scrapbook early.  I asked her if we should video the exam to just get a head start on things.....WE ARE NUTS!  Anyway Dr. H came in and talked to us for an hour before he ever did the exam he had reviewed my chart the night before and told me my options....Mom and I both were very impressed with him!  So I bet you want to know what my options are so let me tell you:

I could have surgery to see if I have endometriosis which I am sure that I do and this also gives him a chance to look around and see what could be going on OR I could go to the fertility clinic and go from there....I chose option 1 it is alot cheaper and I feel that it is the natural next step.   I have never had surgery before, but I am actually very excited to have this done.

Surgery is set for April 14th!  Please pray that everything goes smoothly...I am the biggest chicken and I am scared to death of hospitals so this should be interesting.  I am just praying for peace and that this will help me get pregnant.  I know that everything is in God's hands and I am just fine with that!  I will miss a few days of work and then I will be good to go!

On another note we leave for BOSTON in 1 week!  I justed checked the weather and it is supposed to rain on game day....I just know that we didn't spend money to go there to not see a game so I just know that everythign will be just fine!  Pray for Kevin as we fly...he is scared to death..I am too if I am being honest.  I will have to be the strong one in this case though!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my favorite APRIL FOOL!  I love you Kevin!!!

Fenway Surpise!

My husband, Kevin, is turning 30 on April 1st and I wanted to do something fan-freakin-tastic for him since this is a big year.  I am not good at surprises as I usually spoil them the minute I find out about them.  But not this time! 

Kevin LOVES the Boston Red Sox.....like really LOVES them!  We have seen them play a few times and he loved it, but he always said that he wanted to go to Fenway to see a game.  This was on his Bucket List!  One small problem HE HATES TO FLY so much so that he took a greyhound bus back one time and wasted the plane ticket!  Crazy!  He did tell me that he would fly one more time in his life and it would be to Fenway!  Knowing this information I got to thinking that maybe I could pull off a trip for his birthday!  I started looking for tickets about a month ago and was shocked that the game closet to K's birthday at Fenway they would be playing none other than the New York Yankees....big rival there in case you didn't know!  So, I started pricing tickets and found the perfect ones!  Then the hard part was finding flights and knowing how expensive they were I didn't know how I would afford them.  Enter in my wonderful parents, they LOVE LOVE LOVE Kevin and I have somewhat been replaced by him, no hard feelings.....well they decided that they wanted to pay for our plane tickets!!!  Blessing!  Next we found a hotel on the Bay in Boston!

I had all the details worked out and ready and now to hold my surprise in!  I waited and waited and was so nervous so finally last night we agreed it would be the right time to tell Kevin.  We had dinner at my parents house with them and my Aunt Betty and Uncle Karl...after dinner I said I would I would like to talk about Kevin's birthday...he looked very strange at me and I gave him a folder with all the details and told him to flip through the pages....he did and was speechless!  I am so excited and can't wait to get there and have this experience!  Sorry honey, your boots will have to wait till Christmas, but I don't think you mind!!!

Our seats are the row in front of the dunkin donuts sign on row 19!!!  Can't wait till we are in our seats!!!  I will post pictures of everything once we get there on April 9th!!!

OK, OK, OK......

I know, I know, I have been a bad blogger.  My Uncle Johnny has been after me for months to change my blog and update more.  I didn't know I had so many fans. HAHA I am only kidding!  To be honest...I am so consumed with with work that my other blog gets all my creative juices and this one has been neglected.  I promise I will try to do better in the future!  So I will try to catch everyone up in one blog!  I will try to do this by months here goes:

Christmas Season/December/My Favorite Month

Kevin and I were very busy in December.  We had several Christmas Parties to attend with all different kinds of people.  I can't believe we got them all in but we did and I am so glad.  My favorite thing about Christmas this year was that we surprised my parents with a big flatscreen TV!  It is a funny story really but I don't have time to tell it here so I will just say that I am a MARATHON SPRINTER on Black Friday!  Yes, you read that right, I beat Kevin to the TV at Target and was actually the first one there period.  Kevin said I haven't been athletic a day in my life, but I came through that day!  My parents LOVED the TV and I cried!  Can we say CLOMID!!!  haha  I loved being out of school!  I had lunch with friends everyday and spent way to much money, but lucky Kevin understood my need for time away with great friends.

Snow Season/January/Freezing Cold

January was pretty uneventful!  We had a few snow days and that was nice to stay in bed all day.  I became a fan of recipe blogs and I am trying to cook one recipe a week from a blog.  I know your thinking one a week.....well folks when you don't cook....one a week is like a miracle.  BABY steps i tell ya!  I am doing the best I can.  I made a Taco Ring!  Kevin loved it!  I put it on my facebook and I think they all liked it too, several have said that they made one!  I went to watch the band Boom Kenetic with Linsdey and had so much fun...I was nervous at first becasue I never go out anymore, well when I was on the front row hands in the air laughing so hard....I guess my fears were over.  I am way past my prime, but it was a great time.  January was also the month for the Miss America Pagent!  I am obsessed with Miss America!  We had a girls night at Holly's and watched and Miss Arkansas did amazing!  I wanted to throw up when she didn't win!  Oh well!  I used to love Miss America when they would win and go sit in the big whicker chair with their crown on.  Oh memories....my parents allowed me to be the winner every year and sit in our den on a throne.  Oh Bless! 

The season we are always in INFERTILITY SEASON

I really don't have anything new to report other than CLOMID is a drug sent up from the pits of you know where to make me crazy.  Before Clomid I was emotional but on Clomid, I am just a train wreck.  For real, I cried at a toothpaste commercial!  We have done 2 cycles on 50mg and I am about to start my 3rd cycle of 100mg!  I really don't think it is going to work, but I am going to try.  People ask me all the time about how I am doing...honestly I would say that I am at PEACE!  I have read some pretty powerful things about how you can't let bitterness take over and you just need to rest in the PEACE that God has a plan and you are waiting on His mircale.  I have said before that if my desire is to have a baby then I will have a baby some way some how and if that is not God's plan then He will change my desire.  I have seen so many people let this tear them down to the point that it is just sad.  Don't get me wrong it is sad, it is frustrating, it is the deepest valley for me right now, but if my attitude reflects negetively on what God has planned for me that I am not setting a good example for people.  I have to show people that are in my shoes that God is using me to help others and HE is in control.  I might have a different tune on a differet day but today this is how I feel.  I have several friends that I pray will have babies too!!!!  J, T, B, K are a few that come to my mind...Pray for them too!!!!

I hope I haven't put you to sleep!!!  If so goodnight! haha!

Not this month, but your hair sure is pretty!!!!

I know, I know, it has been forever since I last blogged!  I have been so busy updating my school blog that I rarely have time to update my real life blog!  Thanks Diane for encouraging me to blog again!  You are such a faithful reader I didn't want to disappoint!  So I bet you are wondering what has been going on with me and Kev!  Well, this weekend is our 2nd anniversary!  I can't believe it has already been 2 years.....my time is flying by!  I honestly thought that I would have a child by now, but as we all know that hasn't gone according to plan!  That was my plan and now I am just waiting on God's Plan!  I know it is way better than mine, so waiting is just something that I have to do and I am getting used to it....well, I laughed when I typed that because honestly I am not fine with it at all, but I am trying to put on my big girl panties and deal with it!  Some of you may be wondering where we are in the whole process....well, I am on a 3 month time line.  I am in month 2 of the 3!  I am taking Clomid which my doctor really doesn't think will help but it was an option that we will try for 3 months.  I like to think I know more than him about my problems anyway, so I wanted to give it a try whether it works or not.  For clarification Kevin is fine and I am too, so they say, but something is not fine when you can't get pregnant, so it more my problem than Kevin's if you catch my drift.  So, we wait to see what happens in the next few months, then I will be going to get a second opinion just for peace of mind.....I just think anyone would in my situation, it has nothing to do with the Dr I am currently seeing, I just want a fresh pair of eyes on the situation.  So I will keep you posted.  I know of many other girls that are in the same situation as me and it breaks my heart, but I know God is just working a miracle and who am I to say when HE should be done making it!  You know I use humor a lot to deal with things and this is no different....I was reading a post by someone who said that they wanted to invent pregnancy tests for infertile people, they would read something like this (no lines or + or - signs) it would say well, better luck next time or not this month, but your hair sure is pretty or no, but you still have alone time with your hubby!  All of these crack me up! 

In other news....my JOB is wonderful!  I love Roberts more than I ever thought I could.  The parents are amazing and I love the kids! Hope everyone is doing well...Can you believe it's almost THANKSGIVING!!!

Blogging Break is over!!!

Well I guess I need to get back in the blogging spirit! I started a blog for my classroom and I guess my personal blog has taken a back seat! If you would like to check out my classroom blog the address is http://www.stromslittlehoots.blogspot.com/

So I bet you are wondering what has been going on with me lately. Well let me think.....Kevin and I enjoyed tailgating this past weekend. We had a group of our really close friends get together for the tailgate it was a lot of fun. I have been to 2 birthday parties for my little friends that were turning 1! Lizzy, Gideon, and Lily all turned one in the past couple of weeks. They are so cute. Kevin is going out of town this next week for work, so I am sure I will have lots of time to blog...haha! Tomorrow is the finale of my favorite show BIG BROTHER!!! I am rooting for Lane! Well not much is going on and I know this seems boring but I just felt like blogging!!!

Update......

Well I have been MIA on my blog and didn't think that it would bother anyone. I am loving my summer break and enjoying spending time with friends. I have been working on VBS things for a few weeks now and also been working at the church on Tuesday's and Thursday's! On the baby front there isn't much to report.....I have been taking a break. It can be so overwhelming and I can honestly say I haven't been the doctor all summer and I haven't wanted to. Of course getting pregnant is always on my mind and heart, but I just needed a mental break from everything. I have had several people find out they are pregnant and I haven't balled my eyes which is progress. You know I am happy for everyone, but honestly I want to scream how in the heck did you do that....I feel like it is the trick that I just haven't gotten down pat yet.....haha sometimes my humor keeps me going. Kevin has made mention the past few weeks about how he longs to be a dad and it just breaks my heart to know that I am prolonging that process, but I am very grateful that he is so understanding and is willing to do whatever it takes. I am considering hosting some lemonade stands to raise money if we ever have to have IFV. Little rock school district won't help me out in that area, so I might have to get creative!

A New Beginning

I am just beside myself right now with excitement. No I am not pregnant so don't get too excited! I have a new job. I will be teaching Pre-K at Don Roberts (the new West Little Rock Public School)! For a little background let me say that I hate change and I avoid it all cost, however I just felt that little tug that kept telling me you should apply...I tried to talk myself out of it a million times because I have some really close friends at Terry and didn't want to teach without them. Also, as we all know I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and have had no luck....all the while I thinking "God why not now, why is now not good, I want it now" Well, now we know why I really believe that God was preparing me for this job and He knew all along that no one would hire a pregnant girl and if I had had my spring baby like I had a planned I would have missed this opportunity. Let's not stop there....God even has worked out the little details...as if I doubted Him. One of my bestest friends Effie, who also teaches with me at Terry got a job teaching Kindergarten at Roberts! I couldn't have planned this any better if I tried....I think God laughs at us sometimes when we try to tell Him what to do and He is gracious to give us our desires when HE is ready! I know I say it all the time but ISN'T GOD GREAT! I am so excited about this new beginning, while I feel I was in the center of His will at Terry...I think His will is for me now to be a Roberts with a wonderful group of men and women!

Why having a blog is WORTH IT

A friend of mine is thinking about starting a blog. She says that she has always made fun of blogs (not in a mean way I am sure haha). She asked me last night if having a blog was worth it. I told her yes very worth it. Here are some reasons:

• you will have a journal of things that are going on your life
• you can have your blog printed into books that could be passed down
• if you have kids this is a great way to scrapbook their life and show them later
• people can see your inner most thoughts if you want to share with them
• people see a different side of you....i have learned a lot about my friends that have blogs.
• it is wonderful therapy for your soul
• blogs put you in contact with other people you don't know that may be going through your same situation
• if you need prayer or if someone is in need of prayer the blog community is a great place to go
• if you have family out of town they can keep up with your busy life

I could go on and on about why it is so wonderful. I often hear people say "I have nothing to blog about" well that is perfect because I really didn't either, but random stuff is fun to talk about. One of my friends has a blog where she writes about things she is thankful for.....I love reading it because it reminds me of things I am thankful for.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. I only have 4 more days of school left with kids if you don't count today which I am not haha!

Question/Dinner Guest!!!

If you could eat dinner with one person from the Bible who would it be? We all know Jesus is the obvious answer, but other than Him who would you choose to have a sit down dinner with?

I have been thinking about this lately and I have so many to choose from, but I think it would be fun to see who all you would like to eat with. If you normally don't comment, please do this time! Don't be scared it is easy!

I am going to go with Hannah, for obvious reasons. She begged the Lord to remember her and give her a child. My mom said that she prayed Hannah's Prayer over me the day I was born. I think that is so neat!

Who's your Momma???

This is Mother's Day week and this is a very busy time if you are a teacher. We have been working so hard trying to get Mother's Day stuff done, so that all the mommies will be happy. I really hope they appreciate all the hard work that goes into making all these things. I wanted to share with you what we have been making.

I have the kids tell me exactly how to make their favorite food that their mom makes and we put them together and make a cookbook. One of this years entries!Then I ask all the kids to draw their mom's face. Please keep in mind I teach 4 year olds so these are very cute! We will have our Mother's Day Tea tomorrow and the mom's have to guess which one is them. Should be interesting.

It's Tough Being a Woman!

I am loving this Bible Study! I am learning so many neat things! If you are not doing a Bible Study right now this would be a great one to do! I hope everyone is having a good week. I am doing a lot better since my mild breakdown last Friday! I am pouting all my trust in the Lord and He will work it out. I have to stop worrying.

INFERTILE.....REALLY?????

Today has just been a whirlwind of emotions. I started a new Bible study this week it is amazing it is called ESTHER by Beth Moore. I have already learned so many things that I didn't already know. We all know Esther's story and how much faith she had. I wish I had her faith. Faith in knowing that God's will will be done! Faith that God's timing is perfect. Faith that I can let go and stop trying to make things go my way.

Today, my doctor's office called me to let me know that I needed to start paying on my bills. Bills? what Bills??? I knew I had one, but I just knew my insurance would cover it since I called them and they said it would be taken care of up till diagnosis of infertile. Well, apparently I was declared infertile in October 09. That would have been 4 months after we started trying. Really? This doctor hasn't even seen me without my clothes on...Really? I started trying in July infertile already really? Oh, and my doctor didn't tell me this the accounts lady did ...really? I balled my eyes out right there on the phone....the lady probably thought I was nuts, but I didn't care. I know that that is a possibility, it is for everyone...but I have never been told flat out "you are infertile" I have never been on any form of fertility medicine the only thing I have had done was the HSG it showed I had a blocked right tube, but that could be from a cyst. I know this getting pregnant thing has been an uphill battle, but I guess I wasn't ready to find out from a accounts sec. that I was infertile and according to her I have been since Oct. I am not going to lie...I am having a big pity party for myself and others are more than welcome to attend. As if getting pregnant isn't hard enough I have to pay out the butt when I know for a fact others in my situation haven't.....I am stressed. I have wonderful parents who have offered to pay, but I don't feel it is their responsibility to pay for their daughter who can't make a baby it's not their fault. I have tears streaming down my face as I type this, because this is just so hard and so hard to understand. I just want to scream why, why me, why not that 16 year old that doesn't want to have a baby. Why, does my husband have to be childless because of me....why can't my parents have the grand kids they have always wanted because of me.....WHY WHY WHY!!! I know I am ranting and I am sorry, but this is my blog and I normally upbeat and happy, but this is real and it is happening to me and yes, I know it could be worse...it always can be worse. I am not saying I have it rough, but this is my storm and this is what I am dealing with!

God please open my heart to hear YOUR voice and know that you are going through this storm with me and know that I am not alone. Let this situation bring honor and glory to you and may I see that YOUR will, WILL be done and not my own.

My List

I like to make lists and from time to time I make lists on my blog so this is my list of random things from this week! Enjoy

• bunko...check
• hang out with emily and lily...check
• get a very important letter from the post office...check
• DWTS...check
• AI...check
• GLEE ....check
• 16 and pregnant...check (might I add last night's was so upsetting to me the girl had no one but her boyfriends parents)
• tutor...check
• fold the laundry that has been piling up on the pool table...check
• finish a few scrapblog pages for slideshow...check
• try to conceive a baby...check, check, check, and check...haha!

So, that gets us up to date through Tuesday...there is still so much more to do for instance:

• start my new Bible Study tonight
• Idol gives back
• Weigh in at Weight Watchers
• walk
• cookout with the Sharp's
• walk again
• fresh meat II..im retard i know
• still walkin
• pray for a friend who is having a big day tomorrow morning
• laundry
• by new make-up and hair products
• pick up a fridge for the garage
• hang with hubby

I am sure there is more, but I need to run! I hope this Wednesday finds you happy!

Guess what happen at BUNKO.......

Can you believe it??? I have been doing BUNKO for six months now and I never win. I have so much fun with all the girls, but I never win. Well, watch out world....I am back!!! haha! I won this cute little note pad that actually doubles as a mouse pad very clever!!!!

I love BUNKO and I love that the people that play don't all run in the same circle. We all go to Immanuel so we have that in common, some are moms, some are not, some are married, some are not, some are blonde's, some are not, some are loud, some are not.....some always win and some do not! (i was in that group)! You get the point. We meet once a month at someones house and that person has dinner prepared and we eat and play. If you are not in a BUNKO group I highly recommend it!

Matt K and Cousin Carl

Matt Kenseth aka Kevin's Idol #17

Just a short post. As many of you know my hubby loves NASCAR and more importantly he LOVES Matt Kenseth. Well some guy at Kevin's work is good friends with Carl Edwards, we will call him Cousin Carl, well he goes and hangs with him often and found out Kevin was an MK fan and so he took these pictures for Kev. Needless to say, Kev now thinks we have a shot a meeting Matt! I would love for that to happen....Cousin Carl is Matt's teammate so maybe we could at least get an autograph personalized to Kevin.

Cousin Carl aka Carl Edwards #99

Sorry for the picture quality it is from a phone!

Red Sox Weekend

Kev and I getting ready for the game Friday night!

Kris and Evan's son Logan rockin the mohawk for the game! He is the cutest kid!

This is us at the game on Saturday! Our seats both nights were amazing! The rest are just some pics of player and the stadium.

Happy Birthday, Honey!

Today is Kevin's birthday! I know he doesn't look that happy in this picture, but trust me he is happy to be married to me! HAHA I thank God for him and love him so much! Happy 29th Birthday, Honey! He is my favorite April Fool!

Lenny the Leprechaun

Today is St. Patrick's Day so in my class today a little Leprechaun came to surprise the kids. While they were outside playing "Lenny" came and messed up their room and sprinkled pots of gold and green rainbow dust all over the class. He even messed up some chairs and played in centers. When the kids came inside the room they were so surprised that he had been there. They got a note from Lenny and some cookies. He painted a picture for them at the art easel of a shamrock. They were most excited that apparently he used the restroom while he was there and left the potty water green.

They said, "he even pee's green" haha!